


3 A.M

by afternoonish



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Demons, Caboose - Freeform, M/M, Oneshot, churboose - Freeform, church is a demon, church swears a lot, cmon its church you already been knew, cuddling!, its sfw!!!! dont worry, lots of swearing, mention of a cult, not clikbait omg, rvb, stay inside before coronavirus vibechecks you, summoning church at 3am challenge, thats it thats the tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23319262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afternoonish/pseuds/afternoonish
Summary: Squinting through the orange glow of the fire, Caboose could make out what looked like long, shaggy goat legs instead of human legs, two horns protruding from just above the creature's forehead and curling slightly back over his head, and most prominently, two massive leathery wings that suddenly snapped out of his back.The creature turned, fully formed, and the flames snapped away around him as his attention fixed on Caboose. His dark hair parted for his horns, and his red eyes burned with the same intensity as the fire he'd spawned from. A long, whiplike tail lashed behind him, and each of his fingers ended in sharp claws. Fangs stuck out from his mouth here and there. He took a single step closer, murderous gaze inspecting Caboose. Neither of them spoke for a moment.Then suddenly, Caboose grinned wide, getting to his feet and bouncing on his heels. "Oh.. my.. God!! A new friend! AND HE'S PART PUPPY!!"
Relationships: Michael J. Caboose/Leonard L. Church
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	3 A.M

Caboose couldn't sleep, as usual. He'd always been a bit of what you'd call a night owl, extra energetic at night as a result of his excitement for what the next day could bring. His friend Simmons had offered some ideas on how Caboose could potentially fix this problem, but most plans had fallen flat on their face- most likely as a result of Caboose's own lack of intellect. After numerous failed attempts, Simmons had given up. Tucker just told Caboose to get a hobby or something, so he wasn't just sitting around bored during his extra 8 hours or so of wakefulness. This was a strategic move- a bored Caboose was a dangerous Caboose.

Frankly, the brown-haired boy didn't know what counted as a hobby and what didn't, and he was further limited by his own abilities- or lack thereof. Caboose had gone to the library a few days ago, only to remember he couldnt read after already checking out the books. He looked pointedly over at the stack of books he'd bought, sitting discarded on his floor, and sighed, returning to staring at the wall. 

After about 15 more minutes, this became too boring for Caboose to continue, and switching to another wall didn't seem to offer any sort of new amusement. Sighing yet again, he flopped backwards on his bed, gazing around the room. His eyes again caught on the books, specifically the big one he'd checked out because of how pretty the cover was. Defeated, he got up, grabbing it quickly and returning to his bed before the potential monster in the closet could jump out. Maybe he could learn to read.

Opening up the book carefully, the shaggy-haired boy inspected the page briefly. At least on the pages were a few ornate pictures, most drawn in warm colors. Caboose found himself more interested with the book as he continued, though he hardly understood what was happening. The letters looked all squiggly, and the pages were so old that sometimes even whole paragraphs had faded to be hardly visible. As someone fluent in Wingdings, he could hardly make sense of the book.

But, maybe learning to read could count as a hobby. He hoped so, otherwise he wouldn't have done a hobby tonight, and then Tucker might get mad at him, and-

Turning the page absentmindedly had caused a separate paper to fall out. The small scrap looked as though it had once been hidden in the binding of the tome itself, and Caboose jumped in surprise as it fluttered onto his lap. Well, a single piece of paper _was_ less intimidating than a book... Maybe he'd start with this!

The boy frowned down at the words, racking his brain to remember the basic spelling Simmons and Grif had tried to teach him one day, mainly to see if he was capable of learning such things. Okay... that was an A... that was an L.....

As the letters started forming, Caboose slowly begun sounding them out, much like a toddler. He shuffled closer to the glow of his lamp, and slowly begun trying to translate the scribbles on the page into full words.

" _Et... Et per.... Hoc vere interpat-_ No, wait. _Interpres posuit. V...Venit ad virum. Illic 'nulla nuntium. Iustus frui historia_."

He perked up in confidence, smiling. That wasn't so hard! He was so good at reading that it didn't even sound like English! The page seemed like it was glowing in his hands.

Wait.

It was!

Caboose yelped, throwing the page and the book on the ground just as they began to grow burning hot. The book flipped itself open again, The page itself glowing at the center of the book. There was a strange pulsating sound filling the room. Caboose stood up, trying to make a run to close the book as the thrumming sound grew almost painful in his head. Instead, he was thrown back by the heat as a vortex of fire shot up, throwing him on his ass.

He looked around in a panic, but nothing had caught, and not even the book seemed to be set aflame. The fire still crackled with heat, and the climbing tornado had now reached the top of the ceiling. It was tall enough to fit a person... and as he looked closer, he realized there _was_ a person in there!

Squinting through the orange glow of the fire, Caboose could make out what looked like long, shaggy goat legs instead of human legs, two horns protruding from just above the creature's forehead and curling slightly back over his head, and most prominently, two massive leathery wings that suddenly snapped out of his back.

The creature turned, fully formed, and the flames snapped away around him as his attention fixed on Caboose. His dark hair parted for his horns, and his red eyes burned with the same intensity as the fire he'd spawned from. A long, whiplike tail lashed behind him, and each of his fingers ended in sharp claws. Fangs stuck out from his mouth here and there. He took a single step closer, murderous gaze inspecting Caboose. Neither of them spoke for a moment.

Then suddenly, Caboose grinned wide, getting to his feet and bouncing on his heels. "Oh.. my.. God!! A new friend! AND HE'S PART PUPPY!!"

The thing started back a little, confusion clouding his eyes as he quirked an eyebrow. "I.... what?"

"This is amazing! That's the first time I've ever read anything, and I get a new best friend!!" Caboose grinned somehow wider. "Can I hug you? I don't know if you have rabies. I didn't know dogs had wings! I mean, I also didn't know you could create dog people from big fires that come out of books, but I've never read a book before so I didn't know ANYTHING about books! This is amazing! I'm gonna name you Fluffy!"

"Shut up." The puppy-person suddenly snapped, eyes narrowed. "I'm not half dog, noisy mortal."

"Oh." Caboose did something similar to thinking for a moment. "A FAIRY! Of course! That's why you've had wings! I didn't know fairies were so mean, though. Or so sharp!" He paced closer, starting to walk around the fairy in wonder.

"Stop it! I'm not a fairy!" He gently smacked Caboose away with a wing, taking a step away from him. The not-a-fairy composed himself, splaying his wings proudly behind him and placing a hand on his chest. "My _name_ is Church, and I am a demon summoned to serve and accompany the new leader of the cult, who is supposed to recite a certain passage from that tome upon his succession." He gestured to the ancient book on the floor. "Which, uh, can't be you. You talk too much to even survive the cult, let alone lead it."

"I don't know what a cult is."

"Figures. Look, kid, anyone else pass by... uh... here?" 

"Oh! This is a bedroom! I don't know if I have enough space for a new best friend to stay here, though."

"I'm not your new best friend, dumbass!" Church snapped.

"It's okay! Tucker and Simmons and Grif won't mind another best friend! Oh! You have to meet them. They're so nice! Grif is my roommate but he stays over with Simmons a lot now, and Tucker usually is cooped up in his apartment, and Skype-talks to some guy named Was-"

"Stop fucking talking." Church grumbled sideways to Caboose, picking up the large book and beginning to flip through it carefully. His thin tail lashed behind him as he scanned each page with a furrowed brow. Finally, he reached the spot in the book where the single hidden page was still folded, taking it out and inspecting it carefully. After a few more times of his eyes darting over the words, he slammed the book down. "Fuck!"

"What's wrong?" Caboose now sat on the bed, leaning off the edge closer to Church.

"Leave me alone! Satan's horns, just a bit of yelling always gets the other imps in Hell to piss off, so why are you so fucking persistent?" He turned away, now scanning through the other books in the pile Caboose had brought home. Each one he tossed over his shoulder irritably, shoulders tensing more and more.

"Wow, you read fast!" 

"I'm not reading these. I'm looking for something that explains what's going on here. But none of the rest of these are books from the cult!"

"No, silly! These are all from the library!"

Church froze, turning around. "The... what?"

"Library! Don't worry, I was confused when Tucker told me about it too. It's a big place with lots of books!"

"And you... got that tome of incomprehensible demonic knowledge and writings.... from this 'library'?" The gears were visibly turning in Church's head as he glowered back down at the heavy book.

"Yeah! And then that paper fell out, so I tried to learn to read it, and I was sounding out the words, and then you appeared."

Defeat clouded Church's eyes. "Are... are you sure?"

"Yes! You're here, aren't you?" Caboose smiled.

The demon slumped. "Of course. Of course it happened to fucking me. 100 years since the cult last was reported active, and the moment I'm summoned and at last think all that time waiting in Hell was worth it, I'm stuck with _you_." 

"Yeah! Isn't that great? You can keep me company now!"

The demon sighed a cloud of smoke and sparks, seeming to have lost all his fight at once. "Dude... why haven't you left me alone yet?"

"Huh?"

"I'm obviously mad at you and I tell you to shut the fuck up every time you open your mouth, so why are you still around? Why are you still talking to me?"

"Because I want you to be my friend... Why are you mad at me?" Caboose said, confusion visible.

Church searched for words, brow furrowed. "Because I was posted to wait for the next time the cult needed a demon. And then they must've disbanded, at least 100 years ago, but I was told to wait in case it was just a long leadership. And years of sitting and waiting paid off with me being summoned by you."

"But why's that bad?"

"Buddy, do you even realize what's going on here?"

Caboose shook his head no, his brain hurting from how cryptic the demon was being.

"Figures. My kind is meant to be summoned to serve the person who summons us, to accompany them and defend them until they die, in which we return to Hell. But instead, you summoned me. So I have to accompany you instead. Forever."

"Huh?"

"Christ, is your vocabulary just three words?" He stepped closer. "You summoned me, so now we're basically bonded."

"So you're my BEST best friend!" Caboose perked up, eyes bright. Church tensed like he was about to yell at the other boy for his lack of intellect, but took a deep breath and just nodded instead. "Yeah, sure, something like that. I help you, protect you from danger, all that stuff. So... I guess it's something like the human term for a best friend, in a very simplified way that also rules out the Satanic rituals and summoning activated by Latin words in an ancient tome."

"So you can help me?"

"Yeah, that's what I just said." Church shifted uneasily, suddenly concerned.

Caboose looked sheepishly at the floor. "Can... can you help me fall asleep?"

"What? Are you fucking nine?"

"I can't go to sleep, alright? I have too much energy." The brown-haired boy slouched a little bit, and Church realized he'd somehow, albeit briefly, offended him. He sighed. "Alright, yes. I can do that. It's not out of my power range or anything."

Caboose perked up. "Oh, thankyou!"

"yeah. don't mention it. Just lay down and get comfy and then I can conk you out with my magic for the night."

"Magic? You are a fairy!" Caboose said excitedly.

"No." Church said flatly, turning off the lamp.

"Wait, where will you sleep, Mr. Fairy?"

"For the last time, I'm not-" He stopped himself grumbling. "Whatever. And, I don't know, it's not like I can go sleep on the sofa in case your... Grif person comes around. We dont have to sleep back in Hell, but... here, I think the mortal world affects me so I have to sleep."

"Oh! We can share the bed!"

Church's face flushed, concealed by the bluish dark. "What?"

"I have enough space! OH! It can be a sleepover! I wish I'd made s'mores." Caboose scooted over, rambling as he made room for Church's lithe form in the bed.

Too tired to argue with the other more, Church admitted defeat, and begrudgingly tossed away the sheets, climbing into the bed. He was surprised how comfortable a mattress was. He curled up, catlike, under the blankets, careful to keep himself away from Caboose's larger form in the hopes of preventing himself from panicking in gay again.

"Woah! You're warm!"

"I'm a fucking demon, Caboose, what'd you expect?" He shifted his wings. "Don't burn yourself on me, dumbass."

"No, you're not like, burning warm, it's nice." He reached out his hand, pressing the palm against Church's wing. The demon tried to hiss, but was too tired, and just let it happen. His eyes snapped open again, though, at Caboose's next request.

"Can I, uh... can I cuddle you?"

"What??"

"You're just really warm! It's putting me to sleep before your magic can."

"...Fine. Whatever."

The blankets rustled as Caboose hugged his arms around Church. The demon felt a moment of indignance at being the little spoon, but didn't bother to push the larger person away. Instead, he stayed shocked at how comforting the hug was- it wasn't like there was much physical contact in Hell, other than fighting and murder. Church almost instantly felt himself slipping away into sleep, much as his brain tried to be angry or offended at his current situation.

"Night, Fairy." Church's ears perked as Caboose sleepily mumbled. After another moment of silence, Church actually found himself smiling a little at the comfort the other boy provided.

"... Goodnight, Caboose."


End file.
